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I`m back :) [Mar. 23rd, 2013|05:42 pm]
recovering this journal has shown me in great detail how i have changed.

I am now 23 years old
In an amazing relationship with a man who changed my life after not marrying my fiance.
We have been living together since the first day we met. Have been madly in love for the last year and eight months.
We are expecting a daughter on August 14, 2013.
I wouldn`t change anything From My past because it took all The bad tuff for Me to grow up and be the woman I am today.
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i just found this which i wrote june 2011 and holy shit things have changed [Mar. 23rd, 2013|05:36 pm]
How did I end up back here,so lost again?

I'm suppose to be getting married to the man I first utter the words "I love you" too in a year from now.I was very confident in the beginning that this was all I could've asked for.Now as the days tick by,I'm gradually more worried that I'm just not ready.Something of this gravity,you are in every way suppose to be sure of this choice.I don't really know who is.I havent spent enough time in the year since he left to know him.I know the familarity of who is but is he right for me?
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2010|11:11 am]
I'm outside on my deck after smoking with this girl I work with. I just finished an ice coffee and I have the rest of the day off.I'm fully stocked for the weekend.I have no idea what I'm doing yet but I know it will be awesome.

A lot has already happened in the week I have been here.For now,I'm going to sit back and enjoy the rest of the day.Call on me by eric pryz booming through my blackberry,with an ocean breeze sweeping over.today is already a fine day.
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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2010|07:14 pm]
I'm sitting in the commons with a cigarette in one hand and my blackberry in the other-filling my ears with techno.I'm wating to get on the train to take my last commuter rail home.I'm moving to east boston tomorrow and I'm starting to really let it hit me.I got to this place I've always said I wanted to be.I did this-single handly on my own and I feel so proud.

I can't believe how quickly things change and how they set into motion.its a comforting feeling how rapidly I have made friends in the city.to know I won't be alone is an astonishing feeling.I'm utterly terrifed for this huge change.its the most adult step I have ever made but its going to make me grow that much more.

Having annie as my roommate is a saving grace.I know that she will be my biggest confidant throughout this amazing experience.

New home,new friends,and who knows,new love.
This feeling I know for sure won't be fleeting.
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(no subject) [Sep. 1st, 2010|10:50 pm]
I feel so different and I'm not sure why.

I'm totally alone and I'm not panicking. I'm looking at an apartment in East Boston tomorrow.I'm genuinely hoping this pans out.Then I will be one step further to where I want to be.

Every fall you become a reborn version of yourself.I can't wait to meet who she's going to be.
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(no subject) [Aug. 17th, 2010|03:10 pm]
The only constant thing in life is change.

Changing scene,changing attitudes,changing your idea's of what is really best for you.

For the first time, I'm putting everything on hold to work towards my goals.I'm ready to focus 100 percent on me and my priorities. To keep sane,I will make time for a social life but I need to become realistic with myself.I cannot let any one person overwhelm me with a relationship,intimacy,emotions.I'm putting all of that on the back burner until I am completely established.I will enjoy the last 3 weeks of summer but never letting the thought of moving into a place I have always felt was home,behind.

Here goes nothing.In this all alone and once its over I will feel fulfilled.
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(no subject) [Aug. 14th, 2010|01:05 am]
Seeing two ex boyfriends in one week,only I would do that.Both seeing them after an appropriate amount of time lapsed.Realization of many things are to be brought out by the end of this.

I can already say I'm glad I never really leave the door closed to anyone in my life that I've had an important relationship with-short or long.People were meant to be in your life for a reason. You will come across those who can later be valuable tools in some manner.Never burn those bridges.
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(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2010|12:29 am]
Seeing Incepetion,having dinner in Cambridge,then ending it on Nantasket Beach.I think dating Euro is my new favorite thing.Very forward,very honest,great morals,and finds the fact I smoke the sexiest thing in the world.

He's picking me up from work thursday night.He's offered to pick me up from work when i get out late alot so I won't be coming home super late.He later admitted,it was just so he could spend time with me. He had said something when I couldn't adjust the seat correctly."You're going to be in that seat alot so you're going to want to figure it out now."I think I could get use to being in an Audi.

Who know's,this could be the real deal.Dating someone my own age is really refreshing and out of the norm for me.He's very different from me but we have so much in common that it just works.Without a beat,he said how we were blending.A term that until now did not know the importance of.
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(no subject) [Aug. 7th, 2010|06:15 am]
Tonight I am Carrie Bradshaw,I have a date with a russian.
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Bouncing back. [Aug. 1st, 2010|11:08 pm]
Today was a really interesting day.

I met up with Derek for lunch,whom I haven't seen in 6 months.We dated for a few months during the winter and it didn't work out because of the looming 5 year age difference.He was my first rebound off of Mikey.I was still naive and so untamed,I could now see exactly why it didn't work.As soon as I saw him,it just felt like we hadn't stopped being around the other.

We had great conversation over lunch in Faneuil. We caught up to speed about life.He said numerous insightful things about me that I do know but to hear from him means more.He told me I make a relationship too high of a priority in life. I let the guy I'm with take too much ownership and I lose sight of my long-term goals.He meant in a very genuine way.I way I needed to hear but it was gentle. We got back to our usual back and forth banter that I missed.It's nice to be as sarcastic as the person you engage with and have it end in laughter than self explanation. I unintentionally wore the perfume I use to wear when we were together.He had stopped in the middle of lunch and said I still smelled the same.Then as we were walking through the public gardens, as he insisted because it was "romantic" asked if it was my shampoo.I could've melted to the floor.He's moving from his cute apartment near JFK to Bridgewater,the town next to mine. I almost choked when I heard him say where he was moving to.

He walked me halfway to work before he had to catch his flight back to Philly. He's been working at his companies office all the time there and gets the weekends to come home.He left me with a great hug and a kiss on the cheek.I couldn't have asked for a better first meeting with him.The whole purpose to see each other was so he could return the movie I left over there months ago.He forgot it in his car but he half-serious said "I was going to bring it but left it in my car so I could have an excuse to see you again".I knew he really meant it but it was his way of being a man and not wanting to put himself all out there.He has always been like that but now I'm glad I understand it and roll with it.

I'm looking forward to seeing him again and wherever that may take us,I'm sure I'll enjoy it just as much as I did today.
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